Infinity, God & Your Imagination

What in the world are we talking about??

“I know how to count to infinity.”

-Moshe, my 6-year-old son

The word “infinity” is false advertising.

It parades around like it’s a number when it’s not.

It’s a concept, not a quantity.

Infinity is incalculable precisely because it’s not a number — not a rational number or an irrational number — it’s not even an imaginary number. This is why calculators are rightly programmed to read “ERROR” when dividing by zero.

The delusion of our thinking that we can grasp infinity starts when we’re kids. As five- and six-year-olds discover the word “infinity,” they associate it with the biggest quantity that they can picture.

Many adults don’t ponder infinity much past this initial conception, but the truth is that infinity cannot be conveyed graphically at all. It cannot be imagined because no matter how much or how big or how many you picture it will literally never reach even the tiniest fraction of infinity.

The sideways “8” symbol that conventionally represents infinity (♾) has a clever design, but suffers from the same delusion. Sure, you can go ’round and ’round that curvy track, but no matter how many laps you’ve done, you will never hit infinity.

The truth is that infinity is a concept that really shouldn’t even have a word for it. Words need to be definable, and infinity itself cannot be defined…by definition! It is the one concept whose essence defies definition. The only thing we can say about it is not what it is, but what it’s not. It is not finite (“in-finite”) and therefore it is undefinable.

The word “God” has the same problem.

We utter the words “God,” “Hashem,” “Allah,” and “Higher Power” with a familiarity and confidence as if we have a handle on the Infinite — when we most certainly do not.

Indeed, one of the first principles in Kabbalah (the received Jewish mystical tradition) is that God Himself “cannot be grasped by the mind at all.” In actuality, there is no word, phrase, treatise or symbol that can convey even one iota of Who or What God is.

This not-so-well-known idea manifests itself in the more well-known Jewish aversion to articulating God’s 4-letter Name (י-ה-ו-ה). Also, the Talmud cautions against overzealously rattling off adjectives to describe the greatness of God. The praises of the most eloquent among us will never start to scratch the surface of Infinity.

Saying “God you’re so so so SO smart,” is almost an insult. It puts a cap on God’s Intelligence as a function of my personal notions of intelligence — as if I am the ultimate arbiter of all things.

When it comes to God, less is truly more. Or as King David wrote in Psalms: “Silence is praise for You [Hashem].”

But all of this begs the question:

If we can’t picture or even talk about God Himself, Who or What are we referring to when we talk about God (which is quite often!)?

In this XL and the next we’re going to try to make some headway on this question, eventually linking it up with the topic from two weeks ago — the purpose of life.

Our quest through questions continues…

The secret to resolving this theological dilemma is to first fully accept the kabbalistic principle mentioned above:

Stop trying to picture God. Not because it’s forbidden. It’s simply impossible — just as picturing infinity is. Every image is inadequate — infinitely too small and constrained.

Instead, picture YOURSELF and everything you know — as figments of God’s Mind, so to speak.

If this sounds too far out for you, let’s build up to it with a thought-experiment I got from Rabbi David Aaron (it happens to also be a ubiquitous metaphor in Kabbalistic literature):

I want you to imagine a unicorn.

Yes, a unicorn.

Really imagine it.

• What color is it?

• What does its horn look like?

• What color mane does it have?

• What’s it doing?

Got it?

OK, good. Now, a question for you:

Does your unicorn exist?

It does exist. It exists in your mind as a figment of your imagination.

What about when you stop thinking about it, which you no doubt will do sooner or later? Does it stop existing at that point?

The answer is yes. As soon as you cease actively thinking it into existence, it vaporizes out of existence.

Now, ponder how challenging it would be for you to try and communicate to your unicorn where you are.

Inside your own mind, you are simultaneously everywhere but nowhere to be found.

The real reason why it’s so hard to think about how you might explain who you are to your unicorn is because you are a higher order entity. Your unicorn exists as a thought, while you exist the consciousness that actively generates that thought’s very existence.

Now, we are ready to take it to the next level.

Try to grasp that you (and your unicorn), and everything around you only exists because the Source of Existence Itself is sustaining you in existence.

Your cute, little unicorn cannot determine whether it exists or not, and neither can you or I. Our inability to choose whether or not we exist is something everything that exists has in common. Only the Source of Existence Itself is free-standing.

For this reason, we can say that the Source of Existence is a higher order of reality than anything that exists within Existence.

Trippy right?

When you’re done reading this, or later today or this week, when you can relax and meditate a bit, think about all this and you will definitely begin to appreciate it more.

Everything we’ve said brings us back to better understand the quote we started looking at last week from the Rambam’s Mishneh Torah:

יְסוֹד הַיְסוֹדוֹת וְעַמּוּד הַחָכְמוֹת לֵידַע שֶׁיֵּשׁ שָׁם מָצוּי רִאשׁוֹן. וְהוּא מַמְצִיא כָּל נִמְצָא. וְכָל הַנִּמְצָאִים מִשָּׁמַיִם וָאָרֶץ וּמַה שֶּׁבֵּינֵיהֶם לֹא נִמְצְאוּ אֶלָּא מֵאֲמִתַּת הִמָּצְאוֹ

The foundation of all foundations and the pillar of wisdom is to know that there is a Primary Reality Who brings into being all existence, and all the beings of the heavens, the earth, and what is between them came into existence only from the reality of His being.

We can now better understand that “Primary Being” does not mean merely the “First Being” who happened to exist, but the Higher Order Being Who is the Source of Existence Itself.

Note that the Rambam does not say:

#1 - Believe in God, and then,

#2 - Believe that He created everything.

Rather, the foundation of foundation and the pillar that runs through all wisdom is to know that there-is-a-Primary-Reality-that-brings-into-reality-everything-that-exists. All in one breath. None of the components of that sentence can be removed and still leave a coherent thought.

Finally, this brings us to an excellent question posed by my 8-year-old daughter Leah (and many before her):

Who made Hashem?!?

This will be the subject of next week’s XL. Stay tuned, and please help us get XL out to everyone who may enjoy it.